Fantastic Voyage: PITCH Presentation @Phil


  1. Hi Krissy, okay - I think you need to look at the 'science part' and how audiences are going to understand what is happening. I think you need to make a decision that you're making a public information film that uses the aesthetic of a mobile game to make its point. There is no 'take home' message here - so, yes, Game Over - but you don't really tell us why, and you don't make the consequences of resistant bacteria seem in any way serious or something we need to worry about. I think this will help you find ways to break up what is very linear about your animatic. At the moment, you have all the information at the beginning, and then we watch something that is essentially repetitive - I think you should interrupt the game play with pop-ups that tell us what is going on (i.e. the science stuff about how bacteria actually become resistant). This is ensure that we don't get bored of 'watching' someone play a game - and right now, it is a bit boring, because we see the same action take place again and again. I think you need to reconsider your actual information, as 'learn 3 antibiotics by killing bacteria of the same colour' doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me? I'm not sure what you've written here is what you actually mean to say?

    In terms of design - you've captured the feel of the game nicely and I like the environments etc. I do think you're going to have to make the science stuff more explicit and think again about how to explain the game-play so it's relationship to the science is more clearly aligned. I'll email your url to Dr Klappa now...

  2. I very much like the desing of the game and its simplicity - the issue is whether your audience will understand, what is going on?? At the moment, all I see is that there is a dude that shoots other dudes with a different shape according to some colours. Occasionally, these other dudes are not killed - but why???? I fully agree with Phil's comments - you need to be clear, what message you want to get across AND you also want to educate your audience. Does this make sense?