OGR 05/03/2016Hi Krissy,Okay - my first instinct is that you lose the preface to your script right away (the planet earth, the man in the workshop etc) and just get stuck into the action directly - otherwise you'll be investing time in creating content that isn't really necessary to our understanding of what's going on. Personally, i thought the the 'invade the land of Roger' opening was both quicker and funnier, and in terms of goal-setting for the bacteria (and for the audience) completely clear. I suppose I'm a bit confused as to whether you're creating a simulation of a game, or whether you're making an animated short that uses the language of gaming to make it's point? Also, at the end of your ideas we see the bacteria as triumphant, which, as a message for a game, is a bit depressing. This is advice I've given to a few students who are are exploring similar ideas: if you decided that the 'point' of your animated short was to warn people about the dangers of over-prescribing antibiotics or taking them unnecessarily, then showing the super-bacteria as becoming an unbeatable 'boss' character makes perfect sense, because you are showing the worst case scenario. In order to do this, you might need to swap around the emphasis of your story, so instead of seeing the bacteria gathering together to 'invade Roger', we start with antibiotics preparing to 'protect Roger' - we then have the scene in which the antibiotic is equipped with different features in preparation for battle with the bacteria. This is repeated as the bacteria fight back etc - and we keep seeing 'the player' try more and more ways to defeat the bacteria, only it becomes clear that it's actually the player's own efforts that are creating the circumstances of their defeat (i.e. all the different antibiotics being sent into battle are just making the bacteria more resistant), until the end of the game, when the super-bacteria can not be defeated, and 'the player' discovers that he has no more 'weapons' or 'choices' left. If you reverse the view point of the player (so playing as the antibiotic as opposed to the bacteria) you can actually make the point about resistance more straightforwardly - and you can create the warning for the audience too. The idea that there are no more 'power-ups' left is a clear way of showing the limits of antibiotics, but also, by showing 'the player' as responsible for creating the resistance in the first place, you're making the other point about our responsibility to use the drugs effectively in the first place.Let me know if this advice makes sense.