1/15/2016

From Script to Screen: Story idea, The Destroyer

Today was a day for writing stories! I tried to develop everything I had as an idea, even brainstormed with a friend of mine, because I needed to talk about my stories with someone. Simply talking to myself wasn't enough! My original idea was something completely different than what I'm posting below. Sadly this idea is still a bit unclear, but I want to see if I can make it work, since it's actually the only story I like. I had an idea of a tribe making a competition for the next leader and the main character getting involved into the competition without wanting to be part of it, but I ended up having so many varieties of this idea I got confused, which is why I'm not uploading it now.

I wrote this fast, just as a guide. So I can later write my script based on this. I skipped a lot of details which I intend to show in the drawings. I would love to see some feedback on this in order to make it better.


P.S. - Please excuse the grammar!

4 comments:

  1. Hmmm - well, I think you're onto something re. Robots unhappy with their designated purpose, but your story is already too long, with too many scenes and you're not using the unicycle in any real sense.

    Robot
    Temple
    Unicycle

    How about this: you have a world of robots that don't have legs; all robots have a single wheel - a unicycle - by which they travel around. I think, in a world where everyone had a single wheel, there might be something else that these uni-robots would particularly worship; perhaps they would worship 'legs' - perhaps they dream of having two legs (like a robot version of The Little Mermaid)? In this way I can see how the temple might be used usefully, and how the unicycle might be used usefully as a symbol of 'lack' or 'deficit'. I can almost see it as being like a fable - a cautionary tale about 'be careful what you wish for' or 'the grass is always greener'.

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    Replies
    1. Then would it be better if the robot asks for a different way to move around and gets legs, which nobody else has? I came up with this so hard, anything I think of would be long. I don't know how to make it shorter. I guess I'll think about it, thanks for the advice.

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    2. Hi Kristina - I commented on your story idea:Destroyer on reddit.
      Your story idea is brilliant.
      Here's the link if you can't find the comment:
      https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/comments/40btzk/january_10th_2016_critique_thread/cz0sy14

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    3. Thank you for your comment! Much appreciated!

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